Next week on July 17 it will be a year since I've lost my Mom. I don't know how I will be on that particular day, but honestly, it's just another day. I don't know that milestones are necessarily important when you've lost your Mom because in reality, you feel it every day. Right now, I really need her to tell me things are going to be okay and soon. The other day my big brother shared a memory on social media and it was a photo of my Mom on July 4 the first summer of her can
When I first decided to go out with David, I was NOT looking for anything serious. I had just broken it off with the married man and I was feeling raw. I assumed that we might hook up a few times and then we would go on with our separate lives. I had no idea that this would be the beginning of something totally unexpected and wonderful. Let me backtrack about 18 years before our first date in late 2010. The last time I’d seen David was in 1992. I had recently stopped working
I’ve been involved in quite a few lively debates about the minimum wage being raised over six years for fast food workers. One argument against the raise is: “Machines and computers are going to take over everything we do!” But wasn’t that supposed to happen ages ago in… say... 1984? As I sit here this evening trying to pick a book to discuss, I can’t help thinking about Scott Westerfeld’s book Uglies, the first in the series. It was originally published in 2005 so why am I w
WARNING: Some crude/vulgar content in this article. When I first became single after almost 16 years of being with my ex-husband, I decided to do things that made me happy or brought me pleasure. I wanted some new experiences. I was 36 years old and had spent the bulk of my adult life trying in vain to please a man, usually at the expense of my own needs and desires. It was time to be self-centered. Within reason, of course. When my kids were home, I was full-on “momming” an
This past week, an American hero showed the country how to handle the ridiculousness of this administration. I began writing a piece about how Megan Rapinoe was already an amazing woman and role model, but then Omari Newton's post was shared with me. I can't add to what he has already written, and I'm so grateful he has allowed me to share his viral post on Girl Gone Smart. If you have yet to read what he had to say, carry on... "If you're a dude like me, you may have missed
Fast-forward to November 2018. Our son got married and of course we attended the wedding. I had not seen my ex in over a year; he quit talking to our daughter when our son went into the Air Force in 2015. We arrived in Missouri a couple of days before the wedding. At the rehearsal, my ex gave me a hug. It was awkward and uncomfortable, but I didn’t want to cause a scene, so I allowed it. When we were getting ready to practice the ceremony entrance, he wanted me to link arms w
Warning: I use occasional crude/vulgar language in this article. He bought me an engagement ring in 2001 and we chose a wedding date in February 2002. I threw myself into wedding planning. He didn’t take part in any way, but I was used to doing everything solo. I told myself that it didn’t matter if he wasn’t involved because at least he was marrying me. I told myself that the wedding is for the woman, so it was totally normal that he didn’t care about a single detail, that h
So, we settled into being parents of our son during Spring/Summer/Fall 1997. I was so happy to have a baby that I shut out anything unpleasant regarding our relationship. My oldest child started Kindergarten, and I was back to work. Between work and my two sons, I didn’t have time to think about the negative aspects of our relationship, including the fact that I was carrying virtually all of the home-making and child-rearing responsibilities, on top of a full-time job. We wer
Even with all the warning signs, we moved in together in early 1995. I really thought that once he felt more secure in our relationship, it would get better. He would see that I wasn’t like his ex-girlfriends and he would trust me. I learned how to be a “female partner” in a relationship by watching my mom, like a lot of us do. My mom, and his mom, were stay-at-home moms. They took care of the family and household while the men made the money. Even though I worked full-time,
Warning: I may use the occasional curse word in this article. No one gets married assuming or thinking that they will get divorced. At least, no one I've ever met, including myself. However, if ever there was a marriage that should not have occurred, it was my first marriage. The signs were there if I had not told my inner voice to shut the fuck up. I met him at work in 1994. I was a student employee, on a temporary assignment in the office where he worked. I was young; 20 ye
Let me tell you a little bit about myself. My name is Denise. I’m 45 years old and am defined as many things, depending on who you talk to: Fiancee’, divorcee, mother, daughter, grandmother, granddaughter, sister, aunt, friend, employee, and co-worker. If you ask me to define myself, however, it’s not so clear-cut. I learn new things about myself all the time, so I’m hesitant give myself a label. What I am trying to do is to always be true and authentic to myself. I didn't u
I have a few folks asking me where my most recent book recommendation is, and the problem is I don’t really have one at this very moment because I'm absolutely trapped within 12 Patients: Stories of Life and Death at Bellevue Hospital. Thing is, it's more than just an average read for me, it feels personal so I'm taking my time and learning about myself as well. It's been quite beautiful but also painful. I will write about it eventually. And here's the thing, I want you to r
There isn't a lot that surprises me anymore, but Alabama? You may have done it. Last night, Alabama lawmakers voted to ban all abortions in the state and to punish doctors who perform the procedure. Thanks to a 22 to 11 vote, there are no exceptions for rape or incest, and doctors who perform abortions on women or girls who are raped will receive more jail time (up to 99 years) than the rapist. Senate Minority Leader Bobby Singleton voiced anger: “You just raped every little
I know this one is going to be a bit different then usual my dear readers but hear me out on this. It happens pretty often that we're in a hurry. Didn't get up early enough before work to make some food. So you decide to pick something up on your way. There's so many options. You've got all the big fast food joints, if you're lucky there's a good mom and pop shop near you like West End Bagel in Clifton Park or Bagels and Bakes in Rotterdam. Then there's the bottom of the barr
(language warning) I started today with plans for a date tonight.
And I ended it with a dude calling me huge.
This is my dating life. It's nbd (no big deal. people know that, right?)
I deal with this shit all the time. Ghosting is only the beginning of my #girlgonedating stories. And they recently ended with being called huge. This guy and I recently started talking on facebook/tinder/text and ultimately decided to meet tonight. We had typical get to know you conversation, fa
…Which is where this book should end up because ain’t nobody got time for that. I’m talking about House of Leaves by Mark Z. Danielewski. This book has been on my reading list for a while because it has an amazing cult following and resides on many top five lists for being one of the best horror novels out today. Am I just that cynical or was I expecting too much? For me, this book is the Charles Manson of horror novels. It was able to gather a following without following thr
My heart was beating out of my chest. I yelled at my husband for interrupting me. I didn’t want to move even to feed my cats. I was on the edge of my seat, my breathing became heavier, and I was in a constant state of anticipation with what may be coming next. Screw October. There's no need to wait for fall to have a good scare. The book I want to tell you about this week is The Ritual by British author Adam Neville. It has been a while since I’ve read an adult oriented horro
Hello Girl Gone Smart readers!
My name is Kristen. I'm a mom. And I am exhausted.
To be a bit more descriptive, I'm a 38 year old working (accountant) single mom living in Delmar, NY. I'm lucky enough to have been graciously invited by the host of this awesome blog to write about whatever I'd like. What an opportunity, right? I honestly have no idea what I will ultimately write about here - politics, parenting, dating, feminism, finances, general ranting and raving - but sta
I sunburn easily and very quickly even with loads of sunscreen. A few years ago at this time I was in Puerto Rico with my Mom. I needed a vacation and I missed her because I had been traveling so often for work. I needed sun, a beach, and a pool. For some reason, she kept thinking we were in Jamaica. (I hadn’t told her where we were going until we were on our second plane in Newark.) It was an amazing experience. But time moves so quickly doesn’t it? Keep that in the back of
*language warning in the image. I've been wanting to write about this for a while now, but it's hard to know where to start. I thought it might be easiest to tell you all about myself so that hopefully you can understand me and where I'm coming from. From a pretty young age I knew that I wasn't interested in marriage or kids. This isn't to say I don't want to settle down with one person for the happily ever after we all want. I just never had a ticking clock pushing me to fin