Normally I reserve guest posts for women who need or want a space to share something important to them or what may be important to you. On Monday, a male friend reached out and asked me to review something he had written and I think it's important enough to be shared here with his permission. However, he is choosing to remain anonymous.
I normally wouldn't allow this because it's possible some would view it as my words, my thoughts, and for whatever reason I'm choosing to be deceitful or dishonest. As 'proof' I'm sharing our private message about his choice, which is also very important because it shows just how prevalent the fear of being an ally and/or criticized for sharing our thoughts still is. I hope someday soon this man will feel comfortable enough to own his thoughts, because there are so many who share what he thinks and feels. Sometimes it only takes one person to inspire many others in coming forward.
To the author, thank you for sharing with me and the readers of Girl Gone Smart. Even though you're remaining anonymous, your words are important and I'm honored you've chosen me to share them with.
"It is a choice"
Don’t you just love the saying, “it’s a choice” when having a conversation with someone about homosexuality? I usually ask them if they think it is a choice to be gay and most decent people believe (like myself) that it is not. Then there are some that answer, yes, it is a choice. My retorts used to be vulgar, like some variation of: “Oh so you have thought about sucking dick and wanted to but chose not to?” That usually throws people for a loop, with an astounded look on their face. Too many people believe being gay is simply and only about sex so shock-factor seems to stun them into silence more often than not.
But I got to thinking one day when I was high that there has to be a more eloquent of way of trying to convey my point. Then boom, it hit me. Love. Our. Children.
I believe 99.9% percent of parents out there can say with certainty they did not "choose" to love their children. It should be 100%, but that is never the case, hence child abuse, serial killers, Nickelback fans, etc., but that is off topic. So I propose this theory... close your eyes and imagine the first time you held your child, your flesh and blood, the fruit of your loins, if you will. Did you have to tell yourself you have to love this human being or did you love him or her the moment you heard their heart beat for the first time, the second you smelled that wonderful smell of a new born baby? I'm betting not, and actually I would bet my house on the fact you didn’t have to tell yourself to love your child. I mean, that is a universal feeling that everyone should be able to connect with. (Post-partum and other medical issues aside for the sake of this discussion, please.)
Now I ask you why is it so hard for you understand or see that is how people who are members LGBTQ community feel about their husband, wife, partner, and friends?
What business is it of mine or yours or anyone to judge what I, you, or we do in our homes, behind closed doors, the backseat of your parents Buick, or in public for that matter? No one should have to hide. But this is just my theory on a way to be a better human fucking being.
--Mason T. Burr
I happen to agree with Mason. Being a better human means stop judging people for who they are. It's not your business, it's not my business, and it's really quite simple: mind your business. That said, the LGBTQ community still needs allies and support from straight people to add power and strength to their voices. If you agree, let's please show Mason some love and support. Maybe someday he will feel comfortable enough to put himself out there, because we need him.