Girl Gone Authentic: Getting Old Sucks!

I’ve always known that the aging process would not be all rainbows and lollipops. I know that as you age, you start looking older, may start having some health problems, etc., but damn. I was not prepared for all that aging has brought me so far!

For example: A few months ago, I was on a work trip. I started feeling like I had a cold the day I was leaving, but I couldn’t cancel the trip. The second day I was there, I couldn’t get through a full sentence without coughing. I assumed that it was bronchitis because I’ve had it before. I went to urgent care while I was on the trip, and the doctor agreed that it was probably bronchitis, and he gave me some strong cough medication and an antibiotic.

I started to feel better, but about a week or so later, I was back to being really sick. David took me to urgent care in town. It turned out that I didn’t have bronchitis. My body decided that after 45 years of living in Northern California (my entire life), it was time to develop severe seasonal allergies. Thanks for betraying me, fucking aging process!

For the past couple of months, David has been complaining that I snore so loudly that I wake him up out of his sleep. I tried using Breathe Right strips, but they didn’t do any good. I told my doctor about it, and she ordered a sleep study for me.

My sleep study took place on Thursday, September 5th. The nurse explained the process. I was hooked up to machine via wires “glued” to my face, my scalp, and even on my shins (to monitor my leg movement). I had a microphone “glued” to my face, so they could hear me if I snored (if it was not loud). They would watch me for two hours and then if I stopped breathing at any point, they would come back into the room and have me wear a CPAP mask to see if that improved my breathing. If I didn’t stop breathing at any point, they would just let me sleep until the morning.

The nurse turned off the light, and I rolled over and went to sleep. I was pretty tired, so I don’t think it took very long for me to fall asleep. What felt like hours later, the nurse woke me up. I assumed it was morning, so I figured that my snoring is annoying but not a health issue. Wrong. She told me that they were going to have me use the CPAP mask. I asked, “I stopped breathing?” She said that there were several “pauses” in my breathing (um, isn’t a pause in breathing the same as stopping breathing?).

I asked what time it was, and she said it was 1:00 a.m. (I went to bed at 9:00 p.m.). So, it took about four hours for me to start having breathing problems during my sleep. She put on the mask, had to adjust the tightness a couple of times, and then left the room and I went back to sleep. The next thing I knew, it was 6:00 a.m. and she was waking me up. She said that it looks like I may be a candidate for wearing a CPAP mask, but they will provide a formal report to my doctor in two weeks.

Once again, my aging body is betraying me! I’ve never had any issues with snoring until this year. And now I have to start wearing a Darth Vader mask to bed every night? What the fuck? At least now, I know why I never feel rested when I wake up in the morning, even if I've gotten a full

night's sleep.

So, besides having fibromyalgia, Type 2 diabetes, high cholesterol, and major depressive disorder, I can now add severe seasonal allergies and sleep apnea to the list. This sucks!

I guess on the bright side, at least I haven’t broken a hip!