Girl Gone Authentic: Three Months to Go!

I woke up this morning in a hotel room, on a work trip, and realized something. Today is October 3, 2019. This means something to me – I have three months from today before I marry David!

It seems like the day we got engaged – March 31, 2019 – was so long ago, but also as if it was yesterday. We set our wedding date – January 3, 2020, - on the day we got engaged. It seemed like our wedding date was so far away, but as of today, we only have three months before our wedding day arrives.

We (yes, we – David has actually been involved!) have gotten a lot done in preparation for our big day. We have decided on the menu (appetizers and entrees) and our cake flavors/design (the cakes and frostings we tasted were delicious and it was so hard to decide!). We decided our colors, including tablecloths and napkins, our lighting colors during the reception, and the color of the plate chargers.

I made the table centerpieces and other decorations. We decided on the wedding party members and what they will wear. I selected and ordered the bouquets, boutonnieres, and corsages. All the things we need to take with us to the wedding venue are packed and labeled to make everything easy for the venue coordinator, who is setting everything up for us.

We hired a great photographer, who has already taken our engagement photographs (BEAUTIFUL). We have put together a list of the “important” photographs we want her to capture. We even decided to have a “first look” before the ceremony, so that we can take the bulk of our pictures before the wedding, ensuring that we get more time with our guests.

We met our ceremony officiant and are close to finalizing our ceremony script. We decided on a “unity” ritual during the ceremony, and the officiant is helping us to refine the wording during this portion of the ceremony. I’ve even written my vows (David is “working on his” haha).

We sent out save-the-date cards, and we already ordered our invitations and invitation inserts. I’ve already put together the invitations and have addressed the inner envelopes. I will be addressing the outer envelopes in the next week, and I’ve already bought the stamps for sending out our invitations. We put together a wedding website.

We have decided on our honeymoon plans. We are going to Disneyland, and on the way back home, we plan to visit Hearst Castle (we have never been there) and the Winchester Mystery House (he’s never been there).

One thing that keeps messing me up, though, relates to the play list for the DJ. I have it pretty much figured out in terms of what David and I want played before the ceremony, during the cocktail hour, during dinner, and for the dancing. We have our “first dance” song, the father/daughter dances, what we will have the DJ play when we do the “grand entrance” at the reception, the first song opening up the dance floor, the cake cutting song, and the last song of the night. We know what we will have played when the “immediate” family walks to their ceremony seats, and we know what will play when the bridesmaids/flower girl walk down the aisle.

So, what is the problem? For the life of me, I cannot make a damned decision on the song that will be played when I walk down the aisle! For the first few months after we got engaged, I was certain that I’d use the song “I’d Love to Be Your Last” by Clay Walker. I’d heard it a month or two earlier, and I thought, “THIS is the song.” I could tell that David wasn’t too keen on my song selection, because he does NOT like country music, but I didn’t care.

Then, I was on a work trip, and I was listening to Amazon Music through the Bluetooth connection to my phone. I heard Lionel Richie and Diana Ross singing “Endless Love” and thought, “THIS is the song.” I sent the link to David, and he said he liked it.

About a month ago, I showed him the proposed song list that I plan to send to our DJ. I wanted to send it months ago, but the wedding coordinator told me to wait until a bit closer to the wedding in case we changed our minds about any of the songs. While we were looking over the list together, we also looked at a website with various song ideas. I saw the song “A Thousand Years” by Christina Perri (the wedding song from “Twilight”) and I was like “THIS is the song!” David said that he liked it, so I changed my wedding song AGAIN.

This morning, I was listening to the soundtrack from “A Star is Born” (Lady Gaga/Bradley Cooper version) while I was driving back from my work trip. If you have never listened to this soundtrack, some of the movie dialogue is mixed in with the songs from the movie.

One of the dialogue clips is called “Vows” and during this portion, Lady Gaga says, “When we gave our vows at the altar, I just didn’t get to say everything that I wanted to say. So I wrote it down and I brought it here. I hope it’s okay if I love you forever.”

She then starts singing a song called “Is That Alright?” I started crying while I was driving. The song is absolutely beautiful. Beyond Lady Gaga having a great voice, the lyrics grabbed me:

“Life is so simple

A little boy, a little girl

Laughing and loving

Trying to figure out the world

It felt like summer

When I kissed you in the rain

And I know your story,

But tell me again

Nothing you said wouldn’t interest me

All of your words are like poems to me

I would be honored if you would take me as I am

I want you to look right in my eyes

To tell me you love me, to be by my side

I want you at the end of my life

I wanna see your face, when I fall with grace

At the moment I die

Is that alright?

Is that alright?

I hope you’re still with me

When I’m not quite myself

And I pray that you’ll lift me

When you know I need help

It’s a warm celebration of all of our years

I dream of our story, of our fairy tale

Family dinners and family trees

Teaching the kids to say thank you and please

Know that if we stay together that things will be right

I want you to look right in my eyes

To tell me you love me, to be by my side

I want you at the end of my life

I wanna see your face, when I fall with grace

At the moment I die

Is that alright?

Is that alright?

Is that alright?”

As I was listening to the song, I could see our wedding day through my tears. I could visualize me walking down the aisle on my father’s arm, locking eyes with David at the front of the ceremony, the bridesmaids and groomsmen standing with him. I could see me reaching him, his hands grabbing for mine, with tears in both of our eyes. “THIS is the song!”

THIS is why the DJ doesn't want our play list too far in advance. He is on to brides like me. But now, I know I've got my decision nailed down.

I just need to stop listening to music for another 3 months and I’ll be just fine!