Updated: Apr 14, 2019
According to reddit there are two rules for online dating.
1 - Be attractive
2- Don't be unattractive
Let's be honest, with the current swipe culture this is the reality of it. But there are still lots of things you can do to improve your profile.
Let's start with your pictures. The first one needs to be a clear shot of you and only you, best if it's a headshot so that the people swiping you can get a very clear idea what you look like and if they find you attractive. With the technology we have today in smart phones this really shouldn't be an issue. If you're really struggling, get one of your friends to take one for you. I find that all the best pictures of me are taken by other people.
Next you should also have one full body photo because no one likes surprises. We all have types. My type is chubby, bearded and tattooed. We like what we like. There's nothing worse than showing up for a date to find out they are not at all what you were expecting. But at the same time try to be open to people outside your type, you never know what you might miss out on.
After that a couple photos of you doing things you enjoy. If all your pictures are selfies it might seem like you don't have friends. Maybe some out with friends, or doing activities you enjoy. Basically you want to look like you have things going on in your life. You want the people looking at your profile to have at least a little clue of who you are. The saying a picture is worth a thousand words is very true here.
Now the hard part. You have to write about yourself. DO NOT, AND I REPEAT, DO NOT LEAVE YOUR PROFILE BLANK!!! In my experience people who have blank profiles don't ever seem to understand how conversations work. They usually go something like this.
Them - "hey"
Me - "sup" (because if you can't find something to say to me about my profile or blurb and you gave me nothing to work with, I'm not making much effort either.)
Them - "hru"
Me - *unmatch*
Another reason you need to have something written in your profile is that there have been times I was on the fence about someone. I read their profile to find they had something very interesting in it, or something we had in common that made me think we'd get along. All I'm asking for is a list of a couple hobbies and interests to help me swipe right on you.
Things not to do!!!!
- Use filters. This goes for men and women alike. What are you trying to hide? I'm just going to assume you're ugly.
- Who are we trying to attract flipping off the camera? This tells me you have no class. Save those photos for Facebook to share with friends, not someone you'd potentially like to date.
- Cliche profile blurbs. Every time I see the one about blowing into an n64 cartridge or the acid wearing off and you discover you're dragging a mannequin around a parking lot. *eyeroll* and left swipe. You copy pasted this, you're boring and unoriginal.
- Do NOT lie about your age. In fact don't lie about anything. Think about how this plays out. I went on a couple dates with a guy who had lied about his age. Turns out he also never mentioned having 2 ex wives and 3 kids. I'm not hanging around to find out what other surprises are in store for me.
- Be honest about what you're looking for. If you're looking for a hookup, say that. If you're looking for something long term say that as well. Why waste other people's time when you're looking for different things? Also putting "no hookups" to lots of guys means, unless they say / do the right things. Or they take it as a challenge.
- Don't use your 'about me' to talk about what you don't want or be negative. Things like "Don't be a bitch and we'll get along find." I'm willing to bet there's a reason women are being a bitch to you enough that you feel the need to mention it. "If you're under 6' swipe left." Are you an Amazon? Why do you need a guy 4-6 inches taller than you. Why are you all so angry? This isn't going to appeal to anyone.
I could probably go on forever about what not to do. I'm always happy to help friends out with their profiles so if you're not getting a good response ask a friend. If you are too shy to ask a friend reddit has a sub called r/tinder where they will very honestly critique profiles people have posted. Most importantly just be yourself and have fun. And good luck to everyone out there doing this.
All conversations are actual conversations had by me on dating sites. I wish this wasn't true.