Girl Gone Off: Shiny, happy people are helping to destroy the mental health of their friends

There. I said it.

This barrage of uplifting and positive memes has overtaken social media. There are a few that offer good advice, or make someone smile, but in reality, you are not contributing to the mental well-being of the people who follow you.

Some of your friends are dealing with issues that are very serious, albeit from their perspective. Let them go through what they need to go through to get to the other side of where they want and need to be FOR THEM. Not for you. Their timeline for grief, for sadness, for processing, for forgiving, for anger is not yours to manage.

If I'm having a bad day or a bad week - let me. Telling me to move on, move forward, forget, get over it, etc. only makes me want to completely avoid not only your social media account, but you.

If your issue of the day, week, or month can be resolved by two sentences in a fucking meme, good for you. But my guess is it won't be resolved at all. One of these days all of the crappy stuff you've been avoiding or pretending doesn't exist will come back to bite you in the ass. Share what you will, regardless of what that is, just stop shoving it down the throats of people who need their time.

I, personally, will be better off by giving myself time to feel everything I'm feeling. If I need to express frustration or anger, and you don't want to hear it because it's affecting your mood or your day, don't ask me what's up. If you do feel the need, try asking someone what support looks like to them.

"What does support look like for you?"

That was the question posed to me a couple years ago and it literally changed my life and behavior with some of the people I love the most. And perhaps more importantly, it made me really think about what I needed in those moments.

If you genuinely care about the people you love and who love you, just be there. Don't set a time limit for them to pick themselves back up and dust everything off. The only thing you're doing is making them feel even more inadequate, more insecure, and silly for feeling how they feel. You're completely invalidating and minimizing their experience. Stop it.

To make matters worse, last night a beautiful young woman in her 20s posted how sad she was that she feels she can't keep up with other women on social media. She feels uncomfortable in her own skin because of fake eye lashes, fake boobs, lip injections, hair extensions, etc. This girl has none of those things and she's absolutely stunning but even more beautiful on the inside. My advice was to stop trying to keep up and focus on herself because her opinion is all that should matter. It can feel the same way with emotional well-being. You know your life isn't as positive as what is portrayed or conveyed on social media. And when the lights come up and you take away all those fake things holding you up for the day, you're just as real as the woman living next door to you crying into her cup of tea.

Can having an optimistic, positive outlook help in some cases? Of course, but my god, this notion that feeling better emotionally is a one-size fits all remedy is as absurd as self-care meaning you must soak in a tub with lavender essential oils.

People need to go through stuff. It's how we learn and how we become more self aware as to what works for us and allows us to figure out the paths we need to take. Get onboard or get off the train.

#girlgoneoff #selfcare #socialmedia #memes #mentalhealth